“Femming up” to attract butch women

After talking with a friend of mine recently I realised I had been guilty of pretending to be someone I am not in order to attract someone….

Acting overly femme to attract a butch woman

I didn’t realise I was doing it at the time. However looking back , I was totally changing who I was , and who I am …..a proud (be it soft )  dyke.

Its a shame that within our own community women still feel the need to conform to stereotypes , be they butch or femme.

You’ve got to admit we all do it to some extent…women who wear boxers and men’s clothes in general…women that wear full make-up and lacy undies….

Its all self-expression which is great , but my warning is, just make sure you’re doing it for yourself and not for others….or what you think others may want. If people are going to be attracted to you , let it be to the real you…not some facade.

I’m not just aiming this at femmes either… if have known women who have come across as strong, confident butches who then, after a few weeks of a relationship turn into whimpering , sappy creatures. Which is fine if that’s who you say you are at the beginning!!

Basically its a deceitful practice. “Advertising” yourself as something you’re not

And as we all know deceit gets you nowhere…all it leads to is pain

So ladies…be proud of who you are…be that a handsome butch…a flirty femme or any hue in between


4 thoughts on ““Femming up” to attract butch women

  1. Pingback: Web Series Review: The Peculiar Kind | Non Compos Mentis

  2. Pingback: “Femming up” to attract butch women | Scunthorpe LGBT

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