The melted butch…

So I have to admit the heat has melted my butch exterior.  Being a larger built person I cannot stand being hot and sticky ….it actually makes my skin crawl! So I have resorted to my ol’ faithful maxi dress. 
My feelings towards this item are mixed …..yes it keeps me cool and relatively drip free……However the way it displays my womanly goods makes me feel rather confused …..almost dysphoric at times. 

I know it’s not what’s on the outside that makes someone butch/masculine but it’s hard to get out of the habit of displaying your masculinity in your dress.

I’m still the chivalrous butch I’ve always been inside …just under a cloak of purple patterned jersey!

Emotions

emotions,  everyone has them. Man woman child old young black or white.  So why are they such a taboo?
The traditional view of a butch lesbian is of someone guarded with their emotions. You’d never see a butch cry or whine about anything…..always a picture of class and composure. 

Whether this is good or bad is up for debate …I just hate it when you get the two sided coin phenomenon. 

You meet a handsome butch who is all poise and composure, then as soon as you get into a relationship they turn into a blubbering nightmare!
I’m all for sharing feelings and opening up to each other but to have such a drastic difference between the person you met and the person you’re having a relationship with is a little overwhelming. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is I find it sad that people feel they need to put up such a front. Why can people not just be themselves.

Is it because of societal pressure or is it because they are trying to conform to the “butch” stereotype

Everyone should be free to express themselves with no judgement, with no need for false fronts or bravado.

The definition of a butch woman

These are a few definitions of Butch women I found on the net:

“Butch: Used as an adjective – “I’m butch” or “I’m a butch woman” as opposed to a noun “I am a Butch”. A culturally defined masculine female. The masculine gender expression can fall anywhere on a continuum that includes any and all of the following: masculine mannerisms, male clothing, haircuts, tastes, interest pursuits, thought processes and view of the world. May or may not be sexually aggressive (do-er vs. receivers). Is comfortable with the term “woman” as applied to themselves. Runs the gamut from “butchy woman” to “soft butch”, “butch woman” “butch”.” (www.butch-femme.net)

“butch (bʊtʃ)

adj.

1. Slang.

a. (of a woman) having traits of behavior usu. associated with males.
b. (of a male) exaggeratedly masculine in manner.
2. of or designating a haircut in which the hair is closely cropped.

n. 3. Slang. a butch person.  ” ( http://www.thefreedictionary.com)

 

 

Identity and Labels

After reading a recent post on Facebook talking about labels, I became rather disappointed by the opinions of some. 

People need to realise the difference between society enforced labels and personally chosen identities.  There is a vast difference between the two. 

For example … I identify as butch, some days a little softer than other , but butch none the less! I find it sad when some people get offended by the term butch, that it is something of an insult or loaded with connotations.
Us masculine inclined women need to reclaim the term butch and hold our heads high. Show society that you don’t have to be male to be a true gentleman!

Personally I love nothing more than the understated swagger of a dapper butch *swoon*

Marooned Relationships

I’m back again!  From my crazy hectic life of drama drama drama ….

I swear one day I’ll sort my life out and hold a steady job, or god forbid a relationship!

A friend of mine spouted this the other day,  whilst discussing my relationship woes;

” Well that’s just the way with gay relationships … they never last very long”

I was mortified and shocked to hear this but it got me thinking.  Damn….she’s got a point.

The majority of my homosexual relationships have been rather short sharp intense hits of romance, lust and inevitability heartache. Is it just me though or do others have the same experiences?

I’d like to think there’s some people out there who are going steady and I’m sure there are. Maybe it’s just down to the fact I came out relatively late (18 years old) and I’m still finding out who I am and what I need.

I’ll get there one day.  I think my message is just hang in there and believe in yourself.

XXX Musings

 

I feel you shudder ,

I feel you quake,

I feel your thighs around my face.

I hear your moans ,

I hear your screams,

I feel your fingers sharp embrace.

I watch you there all dew and glowing,

that coy, sweet smile, ever knowing. 

You rule my world , you always will

my mind you’ll never cease to fill. 

To hold you close , to stroke your hair

to graze that sweet spot, just…right…there.

To grab your hips , to kiss your neck.

To let you know,

I’m not done yet. 

 

 

An ode to you

I read you , to please you. Set your body free.

Take those things inside of you, you thought I`d never see.

Paint them in a picture deep inside my mind,

plant the little seeds, hoping one day you will find,

a person quite familiar, a being that feels true.

I hope you have the strength to see,

that person there is you.

 

Rant

Why is it when good things come along there is always an evil little gremlin of bad karma clinging onto its ankle like a demon toddler….

It happens every time….every single time something good happens. 

Its difficult to stay optimistic…. even though people say positive thinking attracts postitive things….I beg to differ….what about magnetism?? hmmmmm?

If I think positively negative things are attracted to me….mind you in that case my negative thoughts should attract positive things……ok maybe that theory is slightly flawed.

Am just pissed off….for example , I’ve been offered an amazing job great hours , great pay, but I cant get to the bloody training ….like its physically impossible….I’ve requested that they email me the training so I can do it and send it back…so fingers crossed. 

GAH!!!

Getting a job is a big deal for me with all my health crap….I just wish I could actually get going with it….cross your fingers for me guys…pray to whoever it is you pray to for me…need all the help I can get !! 

Much Love xxxx

 

Butch on Butch Bravery

You would have thought that after all the struggles and discrimination women have faced over the years there would be a sense of sisterhood in the lesbian community…

No. Within this group, which has also fought against hatred and expulsion from society, we still find discrimination.

We all know how hard it is approaching someone who we find attractive. Its made even harder if we know that our intentions might be interpreted in the wrong way.

Approaching a butch as a butch yourself you’re often met with “alright mate” and other neutral greetings and friendly chatter rather than the preferred spicy flirting. Your intentions are misinterpreted and you are instantly relegated to the dreaded friend-zone rather than a potential partner.

Some people can work through this barrier , however it is very difficult , and sometimes, simply impossible if the other woman is into femmes.

It’s almost the same as the hurdle gay women face in straight clubs / non gay establishments eg: coffee shops etc. Seeing someone you’re attracted to and making the move, unsure of whether they even “swing that way”. Dating minefields!

That’s what relationships are all about at the end of the day. Taking a chance, making yourself vulnerable, feeling that thrill of the unknown. Yes it can be heartbreaking. It can tear your world apart. But if you don’t take that chance you’ll never know.

It takes an inordinate amount of courage for gay people to “come out” ….we need to harness this courage and keep it with us through out our lives. Be it fighting for equal marriage or something simple as approaching the person you fancy regardless of gay relationship stereotypes.